Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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