i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
