I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
