Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
