i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
