She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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