But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Randomize
