I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is Oprah even human
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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