I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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