i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
