You're so nebulous sometimes
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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