is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
