well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
