dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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