you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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