i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
