we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize