Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
