That's intense
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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