spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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