I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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