it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The air was thick with penises
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
