I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
