a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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