Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
