My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
