come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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