so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
