I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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