O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
