she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
