when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He kissed a someone with a penis
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
