she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
