Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
