My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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