I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
