Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
