I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I skipped work to stalk him.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Randomize
