I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
