I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
