...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
