i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
