It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
