you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
