Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
