im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If I die, sorry about rent.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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