Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
