SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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