why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
