Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
