I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
