it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
