So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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