woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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