You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
