College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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