that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
there is glitter all over my balls
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