$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
