I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
