I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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