He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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