I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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