I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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